Does Age Matter?
The Real Deal About Dating Older Partners
Author:
Claudia Ramos
You might ask yourself, “Why do young men and young
women date older partners?” To find out some of the
reasons, I asked several Watsonville teens why they
like dating older people. The female teens I asked
said they date older men because they are more mature,
they don’t act childish, they have more experience,
they take relationships seriously and they tell us
what we want to hear. Other girls I asked said that
they date older men because when you are sad they know
what to do. They call you up or send you roses and
give you chocolates. “Young guys don’t do that,” they
say. And then there’s the “chisme” that some girls
date older men for their money, their car or to show
them off to their friends.
Not only do young women date older men, but young guys
also date older women. According to the guys I spoke
with, they said they like dating older women because
they have nicer bodies, they are more experienced,
they teach younger men romantic “stuff,” and they
listen better. Some guys said that older women don’t
have them “on check” all the time.
Sound good? Well, not everything seems like heaven
when teens date older men or women. Most people can
understand why a teen might want to date someone
older, but why would someone older want to date a
teen? We spoke with Captain Manny Solano of the
Watsonville Police Department, who broke it down for
us.
According to Captain Solano, most adults date teens
because we sometimes are less mature, less experienced
and easier to take advantage of. For example: when a
fine looking older guy approaches you and talks sweet,
it’s common for a young women to want to do what he
says. You want to please him, and he knows it. That is
precisely the problem.
Another issue to keep in mind when dating someone
older is that they might be at a different place in
their lives. They might be ready to start a family and
pressure you into doing something before you are
ready. Or, they might already have a family and have
you on the side.
The Law Says Age Matters When Sex Is Involved
Did you know it’s actually against the law for anyone
under the age of 18 to have sex unless they are
married? And it is considered “statutory rape” for
anyone who is over the age of 18 to have sex with
someone under the age of 18.
Legally, the police can’t get involved unless they
know that the two people are having sex, and one, or
both, of them are minors. Still, it usually takes an
angry parent to get the police involved. Caption
Solano says the police usually don’t get involved when
the age difference is less than two years even though
it’s still against the law. However, the greater the
age difference, the more serious the crime. When
someone is 13 years old or younger, it becomes a case
of “child molestation.”
The Law at a Glance:
If you are thinking about dating or having a sexual
relations with someone several years older than you,
here are some things to know:
· Sex with a minor is against the law. Anyone under
the age of 18 cannot legally have sex unless they are
married to that person.
· Your parents have the ability to post a restraining
order against your partner (a legal document which
binds a person to stay a certain distance away from
someone else).
· If someone is over the age of 18 and has sex with
someone under the age of 18, this is
considered “statutory rape.” If found guilty, the
older partner can be put in jail.
· If someone has sex with someone who is 13 years of
age or younger, this is considered “child molestation.”