Sexual Abuse
Author:
Anonymous
I was nine years old when my mom’s boyfriend began
sexually abusing me. He threatened to hurt my little
sister if I told anyone, so I kept quiet. For the next
few years he hit my sister and me for no apparent
reason and forced us to have sex with him. I became
depressed and withdrew from my friends. I cut my arms
out of frustration. When I finally got the courage to
tell my mom about what was happening, she said I was
lying. I thought I had nowhere else to turn, but a
few months later a social worker came to my school and
I told her everything. Almost immediately we were put
into a foster home until we went to live with our dad.
Sexual abuse is more common than people think. In
fact, some of you, like the following girls, have
found yourself in the same situation as I was.
When a friend of the family began sexually abusing
Maria, she reported it to the police and they took the
guy to jail for a day. “Now he is at every party that
my family has and my family has not done anything,”
she said. “My father even stopped talking to me ’cause
of the abuse.”
Liz told her parents right away after she was sexually
abused. They called the cops and the guy was put in
jail. “The man that sexually abused me went to jail
and died in jail,” she said. ”Now I feel safe walking
around town, but it’s kind of hard for me to trust
people.”
Just remember that you don’t have to live with sexual
abuse. If you know anyone that has been sexually
abused, talk to them about it. Let them know that you
are there for them. Most importantly, tell them to
call someone who can help
them.
Prevention
The majority of cases of sexual assault are carried
out by someone the victim knows. When you go out to a
party, be cautious even around people you’ve met. In
order to help prevent an attack, try the following:
- Go with a friend and agree to watch out for each
other. Tell them that it’s okay to let you know that
you’ve had too much to drink and that you shouldn’t
be alone with someone you just met.
- If you do separate from your friend, let them know
where you are going to be and when you’ll be back.
That way, if something’s wrong, they’ll be able to
find you easily.
- Drinking slows your reflexes. Try not to drink at
big parties, but if you are going to, limit it to
one or two drinks and never leave yourself in a
situation you can’t get out of (alone, where no one
can hear you).
- Have a plan to get home. Don’t depend on a ride from
a stranger. Carry enough money for a taxi or have a
friend you can call to pick you up.
- If you feel uncomfortable from the way someone is
acting or with what they are saying, let them know
in a firm manner that it’s not okay. If they keep on
pestering you, announce very loudly in front of
others that you would like them to leave and that
you are uncomfortable.
If you get assaulted
- Your emotions can vary widely. You may feel
depressed, angry, anxious, tense, calm, and any
number of other emotions. Know that this is normal,
and there is no standard reaction to being
assaulted.
- It can be very helpful to find a safe place and have
someone to talk to. There are many resources in
Santa Cruz County to help you. There are several
excellent center with 24-hour support hotlines (see
below).
- A crisis advisor can help you decide whether or not
you want to press charges. If you do press charges,
don’t shower after the assault and keep your clothes
in a brown paper bag without washing them. Someone
from the crisis centers will help you understand
what other steps you need to take.
If your friend gets assaulted
- Let her (or him – males get assaulted as well) know
that you are there for them to talk to. Tell them
that you know that you believe them and that it’s
not their fault.
- Encourage them to get help and advisement in the
same manner as the “If you get assaulted” section,
above.
Resources and hotlines for sexual assault
Women’s Crisis Support 24 hr. Bilingual Crisis
Line: (831) 685-3737
Defensa de Mujeres: 24 hr. Bilingual Crisis
Line: (831) 685-3737
Sexual Assault Response Team Office: (831) 462-
7744
Cabrillo College Rape Prevention Program:(831)
479-6550 or (831) 479-6249
RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault
Hotline: (800) 656-HOPE