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Love vs. Capricho
Author: Alejandra Nolasco

“¡I love her so much, she’s only 
going to be mine y de nadie más!” 
Pablo would always say. “Me mata saber que vas a estar 
con alguien más.”
Have you ever been in that situation? Have you felt 
that you cannot let go of that someone whom you used 
to love or still love? Piénsalo bien. Think about it. 
A love so strong might not be what we think. There are 
several situations when love becomes obsessive. That’s 
right, puede ser un capricho. In our teenage life, we 
have intense and deep feelings that blind us, so 
sometimes we no longer know what we want, realmente ya 
no sabemos lo que queremos.
But how do we know what is love and what is capricho? 
Young people typically have a romantic fairy tale 
concept of a relationship, far removed from how 
difficult a relationship really is, said Josie 
Salgado, a Crisis Intervention Legal Advocate from 
Women’s Crisis Support. 
“Young people do not know what a relationship should 
be like,” Salgado said. “Our local youth have no 
concept of what a boy/girl relationship should look, 
feel, or behave like.” 
It’s hard to say. Según el diccionario, love is 
defined as a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of 
affection and devotion toward a person, such as that 
arising from kinship, recognition of attractive 
qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. Love is 
also defined as a feeling of intense desire and 
attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed 
to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance. From 
my point of view, el amor es algo que no se puede 
describir in words.
“El amor es un sentimiento hermoso en cual se tiene 
confianza, y respecto entre dos personas,” said Sandra 
Martinez, a Watsonville High School (WHS) student. 
Ariana Santiago, also a WHS student, included: “El 
amor se construye con tiempo y dedicación y nadie lo 
puede definir por que lo tienes que sentir.” Maybe 
they are right, love can’t be defined. But then, what 
is an obsession? “La obsession es como un capricho que 
te siega y no te deja ver los defectos de la otra 
persona, said Maribel Sanchez, a student at 
Renaissance High School. 
Pablo and his girlfriend, Erika, have been together 
for more than two years. In that time, Pablo se 
encelaba sin razón, he gets jealous for no reason. 
Erika sin comprender, acepta los celos de Pablo. 
“We love each other so much that everything Pablo does 
for me is because he cares for me,” Erika said. “Pablo 
is so sweet, he follows me where ever I go to see if 
I’m alright.” We know this might sound sweet, but 
trust me, esto puede empeorar. “I know that Pablo 
loves me and sometimes if I don’t tell him where I am, 
he can get really aggressive. But it’s because we love 
each other.” Erika explained. ¿Esta situación puedes 
ser definida like an obsession?
Has this ever happened in your relationship? Do you or 
your partner fight without knowing what the main 
reason is? Or are your fights because you or your 
partner want or are in control of the relationship?
It is difficult to know when we’re in love or when 
we’re obsessed. When you’re in a capricho it’s hard to 
get out. Now, in our teen-age years, caprichos can be 
very common. Out of 35 teens I interviewed at 
Watsonville High School, one in three described that 
they have experienced an obsessive relationship at 
least once in their lives. Those students described 
themselves as being ciegamente enamorados de su 
pareja, even up to the point where they only care 
about being with that person and nobody else.
“Love can be confused with obsession because you don’t 
want anyone to be with your loved one and you are 
always obsessed wanting to know where that person is 
and what he/she is doing,” said Jasmine Ruiz, a 
student at Watsonville High School.” 
According to Adrián Venegas, a Watsonville 
resident, “an obsession se trata de egoísmo y sin 
pensar en las personas que te rodean. You only care 
about what you want, without realizing that you might 
be hurting someone else.” 
Obsession can be very difficult to deal with. It can 
even lead to physical abuse. Trust and communication 
de gran importancia en una relación para poder 
demostrar el amor. 
“Obsession can lead to physical abuse because physical 
abuse starts with little things and the partner let’s 
it happen because he/she thinks their partner loves 
them,” said Salgado.
Love is about caring about the other person without 
doing them harm. If you are or know someone who might 
be in an obsessive relationship, ayudate o ayudalos. 
Seek help or help those who might need it. Habla con 
alguien y recuerda que no estas sola/o. 
El amor se cuida y no se maltrata con celos ~ Take 
care of love and do not mistreat it with jealousy. 
Now, here are some things to look at when thinking or 
considering dating someone. What side do you want to 
be in, the Power & Control Relationship or the 
Equality Relationship?