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Stop the Violence

Stop Pushing Me Away!
Author: Beatriz Hernandez

Have you had the chance to talk to your 
parents about what’s going on in your life? Why not? 
Because you are afraid of what their reaction may be 
like. They may start yelling, judging, criticizing, or 
calling you stupid for whatever reason. Well, maybe 
it’s time for you to tell them, “Hey mom, and dad… I 
have something to tell you, can you sit down and talk 
without screaming? Please I really need some advice.”
A lot of parents don’t know how to sit down with their 
kids and ask them what’s going on in their lives. Why 
is it so hard? There are a lot of reasons why. For me 
I think it’s because my parents never had the same 
opportunities as I had being born in the United 
States. Kids born in the USA are given more 
opportunities such as going to school and not worrying 
about having to work to help the family at a very 
young age. The lack of education makes it more 
difficult to begin any type of communication. 
But what is communication? It can be a simple question 
like, “How are you doing?” According to the Mirriam-
Webster Dictionary, communication is “a process by 
which information is exchanged between individuals 
through a common system of symbols, signs, or 
behaviors.” It might sound simple to some, but it is 
harder than you think. Fear is the biggest reason why 
parents keep from talking to their kids or don’t even 
try. They are afraid of not knowing enough and losing 
control of the situation. They may not be ready to 
find out too many things all at once—too much too 
soon. Yes, I think that fear is the number one reason 
why children don’t get to know their parents and visa-
versa, parents don’t know their children.
You want to start communicating with your parents? 
Here are some hints, in case you want to learn. You 
need to give this article to your parents to read. 
Tell them that in order to increase the communication 
with you, they need to keep the list below in mind 
when they talk to you.
• Show respect
• Listen
• Have inviting body language (gestures, facial 
• Validate your teen for asking questions
• Don’t laugh at your teen or their question. Be 
  comfortable saying, “I don’t know.” 
• Give sex-positive messages (which help your teen to 
  feel good about sexuality, their bodies and 
• Stay clam, and take a breath 
• Say things like “What a good question,” “Hmmm, what
  have you heard about that?” or “A lot of people 
  believe that, but it isn’t true. I don’t know 
  exactly why. Maybe we can try to find out together.”
• Give a brief factual answer.
We need to talk about stuff with our parents. If we 
tell them how important their advice is to us, maybe 
they’ll start listening and stop shouting.