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Uppers, Downers & All Points in Between





Pain, Blood, HurtÖ.Love?
The truth about abusive relationships
Author: Shoutout Staff





Sitting on the floor in fear, blood begins to 
slowly fall down her face. It never hurt like this 
before. It wasnít supposed to be like this. She knows 
she loves him. Then why does he treat her this way? 
Did she do something wrong? Why canít he accept her 
the way she is? Does he mean to hurt her?  

She looks at her reflection in the mirror, and sees a 
different person now. This wasnít how it was supposed 
to end up. They were supposed to have a fairytale 
ending together where Cinderella meets her Prince. 
What can she do now? Was it her fault? 

So, you met a cute boy or girl at school, and you 
started dating. But what if itís not as fun anymore? 
What if they are always telling you what to do, and 
sometimes even hitting or pushing you when they get 
mad or when you fight? Lots of people can be in 
abusive relationships and not even know it. 

What is an abusive relationship, or intimate partner 
violence, anyways? Relationships are abusive if you 
are physically getting hurt, like getting punched or 
slapped or pushed around. Relationships can also be 
abusive if your boyfriend or girlfriend is always 
yelling at you, making you feel bad about yourself, 
calling you names, or not letting you do things that 
make you happy, like hang out with your friends or 
play your favorite sport, or be friends with other 
girls or boys. 

So, why are people violent? People can be violent to 
be in control of a relationship. People may feel 
unsafe or have severe problems in their life. Some 
people have alcohol or drug problems, which will cause 
them to be violent. People use violence because they 
might feel jealous. A lot of relationships suffer from 
jealousy because they feel their partner is cheating 
on them. These thoughts may lead to fights between 
them or someone else. Many people are very violent 
because all their life, they have suffered from 
violence in their own house. 

Violence in relationships has a lot of serious 
consequences. Domestic violence in a relationship can 
lead to arguments and divorce. Violence can affect a 
human being internally and externally. If a woman is 
pregnant while going through an unhealthy 
relationship, she can lose the baby if she gets 
abused. Other damages can be bruises or cuts. If it 
gets to a point where police are called, people can be 
taken to jail or put on probation. 

So why donít you just leave the relationship? 
Sometimes people donít leave because they are afraid 
of being alone and they donít think that they are able 
to get anyone else. Another reason might be 
intimidation, and threatening to hurt you or kill you 
if you leave. 

Domestic violence is somewhat common in the usual 
American household. Violence in a family can be caused 
by many issues, such as drugs and alcohol. Men and 
women that grow up with violence in their household 
are more likely to be in an unhealthy relationship. If 
you ask me, thatís a bunch of B.S. In my family we had 
domestic violence here and there, it just encouraged 
me not to become the evil person I had seen and dealt 
with my whole life. In my opinion every man has a 
decision to make. I mean if your dad made your mom 
suffer, would you want your wife to suffer just like 
your mom did? 

She gets up from the floor and brushes off the 
dust. She knows he canít do this. He has no right. He 
is harming her body and her mind, and she wonít stand 
for it. She grabs her keys, opens the door, and 
leaves.

  Places That Can Help:
  • Community Counseling Center:
       Ė Santa Cruz Ė 831-425- 1830
  • Youth Services:
       Ė Santa Cruz Ė 831-688- 8856
       Ė Watsonville Ė 831-728- 2226
  • Youth Crisis Line Ė 831-685-3737
  • Pajaro Valley Prevention & Student Assistance