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Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
The truth about friends with benefits.
Author: Anonymous





I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Even though I knew 
he had a girlfriend that didn’t stop me from pursuing 
him. I would occasionally text message him, just to 
see if he would text me back, and he always did. I 
never called him or asked him to hang out because I 
didn’t think he would want to hang out with me since 
he was taken. So imagine my surprise when one night he 
asked me to hang out with him out of the blue. I was 
shocked, but at the same time very excited. 

Sitting in the back of his SUV, things began to get 
hotter and hotter as we made out. He whispered “sweet 
nothings” to me in my ear along with some very naughty 
things. I was hot and bothered and I was loving every 
minute of it. But something was still on my 
mind. “What about your girlfriend?” I asked 
him. “Don’t worry about it,” he replied, “I told you 
straight up that I just want you and me to be friends 
with benefits.” It was true, he did tell me straight 
up, but only because I had asked him. I wonder if he 
would have told me if I didn’t ask. He kissed my neck 
and suddenly all thoughts of whether what we were 
doing was wrong went flying right out of my mind. All 
I knew was that I wanted him to myself and if this was 
the only thing I could have, then I would take what I 
could get.

Ok, it was time for me to realize the seriousness of 
this situation. Just because someone may tell you that 
they want to be friends and still fool around doesn’t 
mean a thing. If you have feelings for someone and all 
they want to do is fool around, you could end up 
heartbroken, or worse, with a sexually transmitted 
disease (STD) or an unwanted pregnancy. For all you 
know, your “friend with benefits” could have 20 other 
friends that they’re fooling around with.

The term “friends with benefits” may mean different 
things to many people. For some it may mean just being 
friends with the occasional make-out session, for 
others it could be like a “booty-call,” which 
basically means sex with no romantic feelings 
involved. In many cases, only one person in this type 
of relationship is in complete control, which puts the 
other person in a bad position to be manipulated or 
persuaded to do things they don’t really want to do.

And think about this, when you engage in any type of 
sexual act with someone, you’re not only fooling 
around with them, you’re also fooling around with all 
their previous partners, too. That puts you at a very 
high risk for STDs. Many STDs have little or no 
symptoms. For example, Chlamydia is the most common 
STD in teens and most people with Chlamydia don’t have 
any symptoms at all. It is very important to always 
get yourself checked for STDs after any type of 
unprotected sex. The only 100 percent effective way of 
protecting yourself from STDs is by not having any sex 
at all. But if you do decide to engage in a sexual 
activity, make sure to ALWAYS use a condom. When used 
correctly, condoms are almost 100 percent effective at 
preventing pregnancy and STDs. 

There is also an emotional side that “friends with 
benefits” puts you through, though you may not realize 
it at first. Usually what happens in this type of 
relationship is one person wants to get some action 
and the other person wants a relationship, but either 
way someone always ends up getting hurt. “Friends with 
benefits” is a really hard type of relationship 
because many people think there are “no strings 
attached,” when in reality doing something sexual with 
someone IS being attached to them. Although you may 
not think so, physical contact with someone is really 
another way of showing someone how much you care. Some 
people, however, see sexual acts as just physical 
pleasure. It may be very difficult to know exactly 
what your “friend” wants out of the relationship, so 
when someone wants to be your “friend with benefits,” 
make sure you know what YOU want out of the 
relationship. 

“Friends with benefits” is a difficult situation. If 
you know that you only want a physical relationship, 
and you know you can handle all the consequences, then 
maybe this type of relationship suits you. But if you 
are looking for love and affection, look somewhere 
else. If your so called “friend” is willing to hurt 
you just to get some on the side, then that person is 
not worth your time.

In my case, I decided that if this guy was willing to 
not only hurt me, but also cheat on his girlfriend at 
the same time, then he definitely wasn’t worth my 
time. He took me home and I deleted his number out of 
my cell phone; end of story. I have way more respect 
for myself than that, and I deserve a lot better. So 
do you. Before you jump to the first person that’s 
willing to be your “friend,” remind yourself that you 
are special and you are worth a lot more than just a 
booty-call.