Love vs. Capricho
“¡I love her so much, she’s only
going to be mine y de nadie más!”
Pablo would always say. “Me mata saber que vas a estar
con alguien más.”
Have you ever been in that situation? Have you felt
that you cannot let go of that someone whom you used
to love or still love? Piénsalo bien. Think about it.
A love so strong might not be what we think. There are
several situations when love becomes obsessive. That’s
right, puede ser un capricho. In our teenage life, we
have intense and deep feelings that blind us, so
sometimes we no longer know what we want, realmente ya
no sabemos lo que queremos.
But how do we know what is love and what is capricho?
Young people typically have a romantic fairy tale
concept of a relationship, far removed from how
difficult a relationship really is, said Josie
Salgado, a Crisis Intervention Legal Advocate from
Women’s Crisis Support.
“Young people do not know what a relationship should
be like,” Salgado said. “Our local youth have no
concept of what a boy/girl relationship should look,
feel, or behave like.”
It’s hard to say. Según el diccionario, love is
defined as a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of
affection and devotion toward a person, such as that
arising from kinship, recognition of attractive
qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. Love is
also defined as a feeling of intense desire and
attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed
to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance. From
my point of view, el amor es algo que no se puede
describir in words.
“El amor es un sentimiento hermoso en cual se tiene
confianza, y respecto entre dos personas,” said Sandra
Martinez, a Watsonville High School (WHS) student.
Ariana Santiago, also a WHS student, included: “El
amor se construye con tiempo y dedicación y nadie lo
puede definir por que lo tienes que sentir.” Maybe
they are right, love can’t be defined. But then, what
is an obsession? “La obsession es como un capricho que
te siega y no te deja ver los defectos de la otra
persona, said Maribel Sanchez, a student at
Renaissance High School.
Pablo and his girlfriend, Erika, have been together
for more than two years. In that time, Pablo se
encelaba sin razón, he gets jealous for no reason.
Erika sin comprender, acepta los celos de Pablo.
“We love each other so much that everything Pablo does
for me is because he cares for me,” Erika said. “Pablo
is so sweet, he follows me where ever I go to see if
I’m alright.” We know this might sound sweet, but
trust me, esto puede empeorar. “I know that Pablo
loves me and sometimes if I don’t tell him where I am,
he can get really aggressive. But it’s because we love
each other.” Erika explained. ¿Esta situación puedes
ser definida like an obsession?
Has this ever happened in your relationship? Do you or
your partner fight without knowing what the main
reason is? Or are your fights because you or your
partner want or are in control of the relationship?
It is difficult to know when we’re in love or when
we’re obsessed. When you’re in a capricho it’s hard to
get out. Now, in our teen-age years, caprichos can be
very common. Out of 35 teens I interviewed at
Watsonville High School, one in three described that
they have experienced an obsessive relationship at
least once in their lives. Those students described
themselves as being ciegamente enamorados de su
pareja, even up to the point where they only care
about being with that person and nobody else.
“Love can be confused with obsession because you don’t
want anyone to be with your loved one and you are
always obsessed wanting to know where that person is
and what he/she is doing,” said Jasmine Ruiz, a
student at Watsonville High School.”
According to Adrián Venegas, a Watsonville
resident, “an obsession se trata de egoísmo y sin
pensar en las personas que te rodean. You only care
about what you want, without realizing that you might
be hurting someone else.”
Obsession can be very difficult to deal with. It can
even lead to physical abuse. Trust and communication
de gran importancia en una relación para poder
demostrar el amor.
“Obsession can lead to physical abuse because physical
abuse starts with little things and the partner let’s
it happen because he/she thinks their partner loves
them,” said Salgado.
Love is about caring about the other person without
doing them harm. If you are or know someone who might
be in an obsessive relationship, ayudate o ayudalos.
Seek help or help those who might need it. Habla con
alguien y recuerda que no estas sola/o.
El amor se cuida y no se maltrata con celos ~ Take
care of love and do not mistreat it with jealousy.
Now, here are some things to look at when thinking or
considering dating someone. What side do you want to
be in, the Power & Control Relationship or the